Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
