No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
