hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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