pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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