He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.