At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
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i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...