Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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