your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
