that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
