took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
