And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
