No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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