I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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