since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize