im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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