i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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