I hate your face
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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