oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
