i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he was CRYING into my vagina
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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