absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
