I'm eating all of the evidence.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
