I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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