that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
