I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
