waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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