Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
