I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he fucked my hip out of place.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
