Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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