i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
