I'm lost and stupid without you.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
