like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Every concussion has its silver lining
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
