just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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