and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize