and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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