dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
