I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
