I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
