ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
