We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
