I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
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Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
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well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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