would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish life had little blips of pornography
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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