I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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