Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
