belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
