I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
