we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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