You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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