Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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