Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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