the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i think i have herpe
just one?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just want to make out with him forever
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