yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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