either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
