Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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