No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
