Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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