just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
