Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
