We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
