just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
