where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
