So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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